The Shame Wizard vs. You (Don’t Worry I’ve Got Your Back)

I have two things to share about my parenting that could be considered questionable.

One: When my kids were very small — like 2 and 4, I (not infrequently) had the thought, “I want to punch them in the face.” I never hit my kids, but I remember feeling violent inside when they tantrumed. I would say to my now ex-husband, “I want to punch them in the face.” And he would say, “That is terrible and frightens me when you say that.” And I would reply, “It makes me feel better to say it.” (We can talk about the marriage dynamic another time. The point is…I felt like punching small children.)

Two: My kids are now teenagers and recently said to me, “Mom, we’ve been watching a show and it’s pretty bad. But it’s also really good and we think you would like it. But you might be mad at us for watching it.” “What show?” I asked. “Big Mouth,” they said. They’re right. It’s pretty bad. And I don’t like it. I love it. Not only is it totally raunchy, it is also one of the most humane portrayals I’ve ever seen about what it’s like to be a young teenager, and contains the key element for any show or book that I find okay from a parental point of view, which is to say, the characters are kind people, despite mistakes and ugliness. And if you haven’t seen it, it’s a cartoon, a la The Simpsons or Family Guy. And lots of SNL folks write and…