I was at a City Council meeting in my town last Spring and it became contentious because a young woman, in an open forum, was critical of racial bias in our town’s policies. She was suggesting more anti-bias training. Some council members shouted at her from the dias. It was a strange power dynamic to watch. She is in her 30s and I am in my 40s. She did not stand down. She did not smile or try to make peace. She just held to her truth and her right to speak. I realized that even though she and I are only a 6 or 7 years apart in age, I see a difference between our socialization as women. I admire her ability to not ‘make nice.’ Niceness was quite valuable when I was growing up in the Midwest and in my particular family. I think being courteous is different than niceness. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more convinced that, as Stephen Sondheim says, “Nice is not the same as good.” Truth, justice, respect are good. Niceness for the sake of niceness is a mechanism to diminish people and their voices.