Death, A Love Story
When a client teaches a therapist about the meaning of life
On December 23, 2019, I received a call from the mother of one of my clients. This client was not a teenager or young adult — a time of life when parents are sometimes involved in their kids’s therapy. This client, Annie, was in her mid-40s. Why was her mom calling?
It may be unusual for therapists to be in contact with family, but that’s not always so for me. As a social worker, I interpret the framework of how we function in our lives in terms of systems: We are individuals, but we are in a family system, a community system, a school system, a socio-economic system, a system of race, a system of gender, systems of government, systems of our bodies. For better and for worse, each system influences the other. We are interdependent. Because of that framework, I bring family into therapy sessions if that seems helpful. I try to facilitate and promote healthy communication, compassion, and also boundaries.
When Annie’s marriage was crumbling in 2016, her parents stepped into a more active role in her life, since she was also the mother of three kids under 6 years old. In the midst of crisis, I’d talked to her mom on the phone before. She and Annie’s father attended a therapy session with Annie on one occasion.
