What would the neon sign over your head say?

The Eye of God Nebula. Photo: Stocktrek Images / Getty Images

A young man I work with lost his sister suddenly several years ago; she died of a congenital medical condition, which had never been diagnosed. It is a rare and tragic death — a seemingly healthy young woman simply dropping dead. In their family of several siblings, the two were…


How attention can transform the energy of our anger

Kali, Hindu Goddess of Destruction. Photo: Suprabhat Dutta/Getty Images

Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed.
John Tarrant

When I was a young social worker, I often found myself doing some crazy tasks that I had no business doing. One of these was teaching a court-mandated parenting class to divorcing…

As summer ends, we can feel that time has a life of its own

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields

Running on Empty, Jackson Browne

Field of Dreams

Nostalgia. The word is rooted in the Greek “return home” and “pain,” but personally I don’t experience it as pain only, I experience it…

Five years and not a crazy cat lady

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”
Yogi Berra

On a hot August afternoon in St. Louis, I sat in the very cold, air-conditioned office of my divorce lawyer. Though we had several mutual friends, Rachel remained highly professional at all times. …

Divorce and time change things, but not everything

Someday soon, you’re gonna have families of your own and if you’re lucky, you’ll remember the little moments like this, that were good.” — Tony Soprano

My niece was a new bat mitzvah on the afternoon of June 15, 2021. My daughter and I were excited to be there —…

Shifting out of the pandemic presents us with choices about redefining our relationships

That’s great, it starts with an earthquake
birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

It’s the End of the World As We Know It, R.E.M.

My maternal grandmother, Virginia, was born in 1908 in Granby, Missouri — the second youngest of 10 children. When she and…

Katy Friedman Miller

I’m a grief therapist and former hospice social worker. Our stories don’t need to make us look good, just connect us. Check out my TEDx talk at

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